


The Beginning of the End

by havenshereagain



Category: jacksepticeye, septicegos - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, New Baby, Pansexual Chase, Pre-Break Up, briefly at least, implied alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 16:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15271938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havenshereagain/pseuds/havenshereagain
Summary: Chase finally finds the time to come out to his wife. It doesn't go as well as he'd hoped.





	The Beginning of the End

Chase stood in the living room, visibly nervous. Stacy sat on the couch opposite him, watching tiredly. She'd just gotten the baby down for a nap for the first time all day, and she was exhausted, but her husband had told her they needed to talk about something first. Even though she just wanted to sleep, she could tell it was important to him that talk about this now, so she decided to push through. Normally so relaxed, it was odd for her to see him so strung out, she thought as he started pacing in front of her. She let out a breath, before getting his attention. "Chase, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" 

He paused. Took a breath. Even though he knew he wanted to tell her, he was nervous. He wasn't sure how she'd react, and with their first child sleeping in the other room, he was terrified of her reaction, and his mind was racing with all the things that could happen. He took another breath, eyes glued to the ground, before glancing up at Stacy.

She sat with her feet tucked under her, hair a mess, and circles under her eyes. The baby was always so fussy, and it was rare for them to get more than a minute of peace at a time. He knew she just wanted to rest, but he couldn't handle the secret anymore. 

"Stacy, you know how much I love you, right?" She stared at him, confused. Had she heard him correctly? Because this didn't sound good to her. Without thinking she nodded, prompting him to continue. "Okay, good, I just want you to remember that right now, please." He paused again, looking at her for confirmation, his eyes pleading with her. Again, she nodded. "I don't want you to feel like I've been lying to you, because I swear that's not how I meant this to be. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we'd been dating for a while, and then you got pregnant, and I didn't know if it would stress you out, so I decided to wait again, and ever since things have been so hectic, but I knew I needed to tell you, so I'm sorry to take this time you could be sleeping but I just needed you to know." He paused, voice shaking. His eyes were back to the ground, too worried about her reaction to look at her. One deep breath before he blurted out, "I'm pansexual."

Then silence. Chase stood, wringing his hands, waiting for a reaction, eyes still glued to the floor. Silence was usually a bad thing in these situations. He'd heard so many horror stories from friends in college about their parents blowing up after a moment of silence. He'd experienced past dates ghosting him after openly talking about it on the first date. Finally, after a tense pause, she spoke.

"What-what does that even mean?" Her voice was quiet, shaky. She sounded upset. Chase glanced up at her, then back down to the floor. It looked like she was on the verge of tears. He had to do something.

"I.. It means that, I don't just like women," he realized his voice was shaking too. He was terrified. "I also.. I like men, and people who are both or neither, or somewhere in between. That I could date them, and love them, and not just women."

Another pause. Chase started to wonder whether he'd said something wrong, when Stacy spoke again. "What about me?" 

That didn't make sense to him. "What do you mean? You're my wife, and I love you," he spoke quickly, still nervous. Was she doubting his love for her? "Stacy, you mean everything to me, you know that, right? That's why I made sure you knew how much I love you before telling you." He was tense, still worried. Maybe Stacy really didn't understand? He knew that not many people understood pansexuality, and maybe she was just one of those people. Or, maybe she wasn't happy with him.

She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. There were so many questions running through her mind, it was hard to grasp one and stick to it. She just had to say them as they came to her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" You're supposed to tell the people you love your secrets, right? So why hadn't he trusted her enough to tell her sooner?

"I-I wanted to, I really did," he took a breath. "But at first it was just because I was scared, I didn't want you to leave me, because there were people who did, and I really didn't want to mess things up with you, and then you got pregnant, and I didn't want to tell you then because I didn't want to stress you out, and the past two months everything has been so hectic, and we've just been sleeping when we have the time for anything else, and I didn't want to take away your sleep, but it's been bothering me more lately, and I knew I had to talk to you about it before I just broke down and blurted it out at the wrong time." Finally, he walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. He took her hand, and squeezed. Her hand stayed limp in his. "I'm sorry Stacy. I didn't want to keep it from you, it just never seemed like the right time to tell you."

He could feel her hand shaking in his. A tear fell onto his arm, and he glanced at her. This wasn't he'd wanted at all. She took a breath. "This is… a lot to take in. I need a minute to think." She got up, and sat in an armchair nearby. It felt suffocating to have him so close. Space, that's what she needed. That, and time to sort her thoughts. "Just. Give me a few minutes to think right now, okay?" Then silence. 

Chase tapped his fingers against his thighs, anxious about her thoughts. This didn't strike him as necessarily being bad, she probably had questions and was trying to figure out how to ask them, although she'd already asked a few. All he could do now is give her what she asked. "Okay. Take a few minutes, alright? I'll be here when you're ready. Do you want me to go to another room?" He didn't want a negative reaction. Whatever she wanted, he'd do. She nodded. He stood, and walked into the kitchen. Close enough that she wouldn't have to yell to get his attention, but still giving her the space she needed. 

He went to the cabinet, grabbing a glass and twirling it between his hands, then walked to the sink. As much as he wanted a strong drink, talking about his sexuality while drunk was not a good idea. He filled the glass, and drank it quickly, before sitting down on a stool nearby, setting the glass down and sliding it between his hands. All he wanted to do was stop thinking about this for a bit, but that wouldn't happen until things were settled. 

Stacy stayed in her chair, fingers tangling and untangling as she tried to sort through her thoughts. There was just so much to think about. He kept it hidden from her for so long. Did he not trust her enough to tell her sooner? And what about everything he'd told her about his past? Was any of it true, or was everything he'd told her a lie? Everything about Ash? Did he even say Ashley was a girl? Or that the name was Ashley? Had the truth been right in front of her the entire time? 

"Chase?" The sound of his name drew him out of his head, and he stood quickly. Stacy was ready to talk again so soon? "Was Ash a guy?" He hadn't expected that. Sure, he'd talked about Ash before, but he didn't think that was where her mind would go now. He walked back to the living room, sitting heavily on the couch.

His voice was quiet when he spoke, "yeah. Yeah, Ash was a guy." He was nodding as he said it, eyes fixed on the ground. "I uh, I didn't think you'd really remember much about what I'd said about Ash." She was watching him now, paying attention to the way his voice shook, hands gripped so tightly his knuckles were white. 

"Of course I remember Ash," she responded. "She- He.. Was your first serious relationship. You said you dated for like, three years Chase. You were in love. You said you lost your virginity to he-him. That's important stuff." She paused, sighing. Was this the best thing to focus on right now? Maybe not, but she needed answers. "Of course I remembered the stuff you told me about Ash. But you never mentioned that Ash was a guy."

He twisted his hands, thinking of how to respond. "I know, I just.. I didn't want you to freak out about it. Yeah, okay, the first person I fell in love with was a guy. And I did love him, a lot… Everything I told you about him, and our relationship was the truth, Stacy." His gaze was still stuck to the ground, too worried about her reaction to look at her, even for a second.

"You had sex with him?" Her voice was sharp. Frustrated. He should've known that was what she was worried about. Silently, he nodded. Sex with his ex is not what he wanted to focus on with this, but she deserved to know the truth. "The first time you had sex, was with a guy? With Ash?" Again, he nodded. 

"Everything I told you about Ash and I was the truth Stace, trust me on that." He sounded tired. "The only thing I kept out was that he was a he. I was scared you'd react negatively if I told you I'd lost my virginity to a guy, dated a guy, loved a guy. I was scared of losing you." Tears fell to the carpet under him. 

"Well yeah, it might've taken me time to get used to the idea of you with a guy, but you.. You lied to me Chase." Now she was definitely angry. "For- for two years almost, you've been lying to me about all this. Hiding it from me, because you thought what- I'd leave you? Do you think that little of me?"

"No! No, no, it’s not that I swear," he backtracked. "I just.. I've heard so many horror stories about people reacting negatively to learning their partner has been with someone of the same gender. I had people who never responded after the first date when mentioning Ash. It wasn't an issue with you Stacy, it was me, I was scared, and I was weak, and I couldn't deal with the thought of you leaving." He paused, taking a breath. "I love you, and I don't want to lose you." The sound of her standing got his attention.

"You should've just told me Chase, instead pretending," she said, voice climbing. "You knew this wasn't something you could hide forever, and you still kept it from me this whole time. You lied to me about Ash, and kept me in the dark about a huge part of your life. I'm not upset about you liking guys, or whatever else, I'm just upset you didn’t trust me enough to tell me sooner." With that, she walked into the hall, towards the bedroom. He quickly stood and followed. 

"Babe, please! It isn't that I don’t trust you, I swear, please, just listen to me," he tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen.

"Leave me alone Chase." She stood in the doorway of their bedroom, door held against her hip, ready to shut any second. "I don't want to talk right now." With that she shut the door in his face. He walked back to the kitchen, grabbing his glass from earlier. This time, he reached for the whiskey he kept on top of the fridge.

Bad habits were hard to kill.


End file.
